Valentine's Day Collection
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The How Coke Is Made | Polar Bear Ball Hammock® Pouch UnderwearVendor: ShinestyTime for a history lesson. You probably knew that the deliciously sugary and addictive beverage, Coca Cola, used to be made with none other than Charlie Sheen's favorite nose candy. But alas, it was discovered that this should not be an additive in a...
- $29.99 USD
- $29.99 USD
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The Geriatric | One Piece SwimsuitVendor: ShinestyThe perks of retirement homes are endless: bingo, a constant flow of maids, frequent sex, no condoms, all the hard candy you want, Jell-O and other assorted soft foods. But the best part is, yes, you guessed it: Pool Pilates with Pamela before lunch...
- $59.99 USD
- $59.99 USD
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The Fragile | Leg Lamp Christmas Skater DressVendor: ShinestyUnconventional, completely turned on and glowing with sex appeal, you'll light up a room brighter than any "major award" when you wear this leg lamp Christmas dress to your next holiday party. With a flattering fit and flair style and matching partner outfits, we...
- $59.99 USD
- $59.99 USD
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The Boatercycle | Blue and Gold Mirrored Macho Polarized SunglassesVendor: ShinestyNine out of ten eye doctors recommend these polarized Revo lens sunglasses. They're sexy and versatile, sporty and chill, blue and gold mirrored shades. And for that, we think it's only fair that we explain what happened with that 10th doctor... After getting kicked...
- $39.99 USD
- $39.99 USD
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The Best Dad Pack | Ball Hammock® Pouch Boxer Briefs with Fly 5 PackVendor: ShinestyGet your package into 5 value package of Ball Hammocks™ today. This men’s boxer with fly 5 pack is made from MicroModal fabric which is super soft, stretchy, and moisture wicking. It’s safe to say they’re the most comfortable, supportive men’s underwear money can...
- $109.99 USD
- $109.99 USD
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That 70s Suit | Thanksgiving Plaid SuitVendor: ShinestyCheck the mirror because you probably grew a 70s porn 'stache just from looking at this plaid Thanksgiving suit. It doesn't just speed up facial hair growth, though. This plaid blazer also comes with several nifty assets to help you survive Turkey Day. It...
- $129.99 USD
- $129.99 USD
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Denim's Day Off | Denim Pattern Sleeveless BlazerVendor: ShinestyConsider Denim's Day Off your backwoods Swiss Army Knife. Wear it to the next Hog Calling Contest, while you open a bottle of whiskey with your teeth, or any scenario in which you’d say, “Hold my beer, watch this.” The sleeveless feature increases mobility...
- $29.99 USD
- $29.99 USD
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The Xmas Morning Wood | Wood Print Christmas Bow TieVendor: ShinestyIf you're going to rock this black and brown wood print bow tie then it's important we talk about your morning wood. That unplanned display of enthusiasm that's made the start of every day just a little more exciting ever since you were a...
- $13.79 USD
- $13.79 USD
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The Nautical Lad | USA Big Knit Printed Party BlazerVendor: ShinestyThis men's USA themed suit jacket features red and white stripes topped with patriotic blue stars. The big knit pattern evokes the feeling that someone's grandmother knit a blanket like this back in the day, and that brings a sense of ease to my...
- $89.99 USD
- $89.99 USD
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The American Dream | Blue Stars Bikini TopVendor: ShinestyIf there was a song we could release this too, it'd definitely be Sheryl Crow & Kid Rock's summer hit, "Picture". If this USA blue stars bikini were a drink, it'd be an ice cold Caprisun you long for on a hot summer day....
- $49.99 USD
- $49.99 USD
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The Tommy J | American Flag Print Sleeveless SuitVendor: ShinestySo you think you can handle a red, white, and blue striped USA sleeveless blazer? You thoroughly believe you can tame the authority of this American flag sleeveless jacket? If you’re already questioning yourself, look elsewhere. If you’ve never shot a Whisker Biscuit out...
- $29.99 USD
- $29.99 USD
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The Naughty Neon Noel | Neon Lights Christmas PantsVendor: ShinestyForget driving around looking at Christmas lights, you can wear them instead. Give the people the jolly holiday lights at the bars while you wear these neon light printed Christmas pants. When you pair them with the matching Christmas blazer, these neon printed holiday...
- $64.99 USD
- $64.99 USD
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The Cruise Ship Casanova | Women's Unisex Hawaiian Party KimonoVendor: ShinestyNothing is more cultured than this Hawaiian kimono. It's Hawaiian... and it's a kimono. It's like somebody went to study abroad and came back with a sense of cultural entitlement. "Actually, the kimono is a traditionally Hawaiian garment despite common misconception." Yeah, okay. Not...
- $69.69 USD
- $69.69 USD
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The Crown Jewels | Royal Blue Ball Hammock® Pouch Trunks UnderwearVendor: ShinestyThese blue Ball Hammocks will look great on your skin tone. No I can't see your skin tone through your phone/computer but these honestly look good on every skin tone so I took a chance.
- $29.99 USD
- $29.99 USD
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The Atlanta Falcons | Unisex NFL OverallsVendor: ShinestyAtlanta Falcons overalls. Just what you need in a bustling metropolis - overalls made with sturdy, cotton denim. When wearing these Atlanta Falcons bibs, don’t be surprised if you suddenly find yourself at the welcoming end of some good ol’ southern comfort.
- $59.99 USD
- $59.99 USD
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The 12 Slays of Christmas | Christmas Scene Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear With FlyVendor: ShinestyDelivering packages around the entire world in just one night is a stressful job. If you think about it, Santa’s life would be a whole lot easier if fewer people were alive. This Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear With Fly highlights just SOME of the dark fantasies Santa...
- $29.99 USD
- $29.99 USD
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El Flamenco | Tropical Flamingo Print SuitVendor: ShinestyGo ahead and lift your leg up, put your keys in a fishbowl, or just find a few lovers for the night in this tropical flamingo print blazer. They say flamingos are the international sign for swingers, but we just think they're the sign...
- $129.99 USD
- $129.99 USD
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The Steep And Deep | Men's Retro Black Ski SuitVendor: ShinestySkiing is the easy part, you know how to do that. The difficult thing is how to make yourself known in a sea of black North Face jackets and pea-brains who don't wear helmets. It's obvious that the style of this vintage one piece...
- $349.99 USD
- $349.99 USD
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The Sun Cafe | Navy And Yellow Glacier SunglassesVendor: ShinestyYelp Review: The Sun Cafe The atmosphere is terrible, I was hotter than a pig's loins. My sizzling fajitas were burnt to a crisp. It felt like every light in the universe was on. The staff was not rude to my date which pissed...
- $59.99 USD
- $59.99 USD
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The Seven Seas | Tidal Wave paradICE™ Cooling Ball Hammock® UnderwearVendor: ShinestyBeware of the waves: there's a shark just below the surface.
- $34.99 USD
- $34.99 USD
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The Red Ryder | Knit Print Christmas Suit PantsVendor: ShinestyThis red and green holiday masterpiece is what we like to call a Christmas sweater suit. These pants look like a sweater so beautiful that your Great Aunt Lydia could have knit it herself, but it wears like the most fashion forward piece of...
- $64.99 USD
- $64.99 USD
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The Red Ryder | Knit Print Christmas Wrap DressVendor: ShinestyThings that remind me of Christmas time: Michael Bublé Stepping on pine needles Making shivs out of candy canes Filling my nostrils with spiced candles Forgetting a jacket in fresh snowfall This red and green knit pattern This Xmas knit print is the epitome...
- $79.99 USD
- $79.99 USD
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The Pine Tree Playboy | Christmas Tree Holiday SuitVendor: ShinestyBetter not spill cream cheese on these cream trees. Introducing the Pine Tree Playboy Holiday Blazer, the first ugly Christmas sweater suit that screams "I'm made of money but I'm modest with my spending". We're not saying you'll sell platinum records, we're saying that...
- $99.99 USD
- $99.99 USD
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The Democracy of Denim | USA Sleeveless Denim ShirtVendor: ShinestyWhen it comes to 4th of July, you've got two options: a $5 Walmart t-shirt that says, "Happy Birthday, America," or, The Democracy of Denim. If you aren't ready for people to ask about your Harley or how much Skoal you go through in...
- $39.99 USD
- $39.99 USD
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